Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion & The Devil

Do you know the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion - and how it impacts your leadership?

🔹Sympathy🔹
Sympathy is where you feel sorry for someone, but your understanding stops there. It can be a useful approach with emotionally draining people but there is a danger of toxic positivity ("I'm sorry you're getting divorced, but at least you were married!")

⚡Leadership Pro - can allow you to show support without being sucked in yourself, and keeping a needed distance.

🌩️Leadership Con - can come over indifferent, false or flippant. It may leave team members feeling snubbed or unsupported.

👍Do Say - "X sounds difficult / hard / upsetting. Do say how I can support you through this."

👎Don't Say - "[...] at least X" in any capacity.

🔹Empathy🔹
Empathy is when you feel what the other person is feeling. So when they tell you how overwhelmed they are with their workload, you get the sense of overwhelm with them.

⚡Leadership Pro - creates trust, understanding and a bond with your team and makes others feel safe coming to you. This leads to increased respect and loyalty.

🌩️Leadership Con - can be consuming and leave you open to feeling emotionally drained around people who are energy vampires.

👍Do Say - "I really feel that you are going through X. Do say how I can support you through this."

👎Don't Say - "Ooof, that's a lot for you to deal with on your own. Lay it on me!"

🔹Compassion🔹
Compassion is empathy plus action. You feel for them, and you will be doing something to alleviate that feeling. This is the ultimate human approach and takes advanced active listening skills, but can leave you open to manipulation by people who see compassion as an opportunity for themselves.

⚡Leadership Pro - the proactive approach makes people feel truly valued, heard and important. This breeds a proactive, positive and diverse thinking environment (culture) as people feel safe and can be themselves

🌩️Leadership Con - you may find yourself assuming what the person would benefit from and taking an unwelcomed action based on your own views. It also prays on any people-pleasing tendencies you may have.

👍Do Say - "I really feel for you about X. Tell me more about it, so I can fully understand your position and what would support you best. In the meantime, I will Y and Z, unless you rather I didn't".

👎Don't Say - "I know what's best for you here, trust me. Don't argue - I am doing it anyway! Wait and see what it is - you'll love me for it, I promise."

🔹Which to Use?🔹
There's no wrong or right here - it is very much situation (and person) dependent - and each will strengthen your leadership position, relationships and ability to proactively listen.

The trick is to approach each remembering the difference between kind (caring with boundaries) and nice (caring with zero boundaries) and act with the interest of leading rather than people pleasing.

Good luck out there!

Best wishes
Snippy🌻